Are We Oversharing or Finally Being Heard?
With the rise of soical media, a lot of us are sharing our personal lives online. But are we doing too much, or creating our own safe spaces?
Courtesy Tiktok (from left to right): @Approvedbyqumontae, @_keeyah.xo
It’s 2:00 a.m., and I’m venting to my Notes app again. I’m debating whether to post a very dramatic, cryptic story on my spam to let people know I’m feeling lonely and overwhelmed. Excessive? Maybe. But sometimes the urge to feel seen, especially as a young Black woman, trumps any fears or embarrassment. So I’ll post it, for all 25 people who faithfully watch my story, knowing some of them probably feel the same way.
For many of us, social media is our soapbox–like those messy reality TV show confessionals where you spill your deepest secrets to an audience you can’t even see.
A few months ago, candy bowl trauma dumping (say that three times fast) was trending. In these videos, young adults took turns sharing their most traumatic memories and then dumped candy into a bowl. These videos were uninhibited, covering everything from sexual assault to childhood abuse. And while it’s easy to write it off as another trend, these clips offered real vulnerability in a world that doesn’t reward public displays of weakness.
As online venting becomes pervasive across our social media feeds, it makes me wonder: Is being open online really a problem? Or is it simply proof that we’re finally allowing ourselves to feel everything fully?
“Not to Trauma Dump, But…”
If you’ve heard this phrase at the beginning of a TikTok, followed by a harrowing story of surviving an illness or a toxic situation, you’ve probably also scrolled through the comments and seen a wave of support and solidarity. What traditionally can be seen as oversharing, especially considering the anonymity of who’s viewing, has turned into an act of community care.
Not all online venting has to be traumatic, though. Olivia, a junior at Indiana University uses her spam Instagram account to express her emotions or simply share how her day went.
“Posting how I’m feeling is actually really helpful,” she shares, “I don’t expect people to respond or DM me, but sometimes it’s just nice to get it out. Sometimes people even like my posts because they feel the same way and can’t really talk about it [either].”
For Oliva, posting on her spam account–a private Instagram page for posting freely, without the performance of a main account–has helped her come to terms with emotional ups and downs. Seeing her followers go through similar struggles also makes her feel less alone. Venting online, she expresses, had also helped her release the thoughts that no longer serve her.
As an oversharer myself, I find it healing to express what’s on my mind. Sometimes, people reach out because they can tell something is off. In my own experience, one person checking in to make sure I’m okay can be the difference between a ruined night and a good one. A listening ear matters.
When Is sharing Online Too Much?
But while Olivia sees venting on social media as a way to destigmatize mental health struggles, not everyone agrees.
“I know whose story not to watch,” shares Haley, a sophomore at Indiana University, “It’s draining to see so much negativity, and sometimes it looks performative.”
Haley isn’t alone. A study conducted by Texas Tech University, found 76.1% of participants dislike when they see someone oversharing on social media–defined as posting too often and revealing private information.
It can be quite overwhelming to constantly view someone’s venting on social media. Most of us go online for entertainment, not to moonlight as a virtual shrink for our followers. When it’s someone you know, it can feel even heavier, like an emotional overload, or sometimes, even a cry for attention.
So where’s the line between healthy vulnerability and harmful oversharing when it comes to our socials?
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, the creator of Therapy for Black Girls, is all about intentionality. In episode 342 of her podcast, she emphasizes being mindful of your motivations for sharing on social media. She advises that while social media can be a therapeutic tool, it cannot replace therapy, and it shouldn’t be treated as therapy. This can lead to unhealthy relationships with apps or a reliance on online connections.
Still, for many young adults, social media is where we first felt safe admitting we aren’t okay. I can’t even count how many times I’ve posted a story or a sad song to let my spam know how I’m feeling, regardless of how anyone responds. It’s the idea that I’m still being seen, and that makes the digital world feel louder than real life.
So no, I doubt we’ll stop oversharing anytime soon. But maybe we aren’t oversharing at all, maybe we’re just finally feeling seen and heard.
Keep Reading:
